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Sophia and I!

Foreword:

The following article (piece of literature) is really a part of my personal Testimony. However, I feel I do need to qualify a few things first of all.

I need to firstly make plain two words that occur in this article. They are essentially two Greek words, namely; Sophia (meaning Wisdom) and secondly, Philo (meaning lover). Hence our word “Philosophy” is made of these two words – Lover of Wisdom.

Secondly, the point of this article is to contrast human wisdom – which really belongs to Satan – and God’s Wisdom which is what really matters to me as a Christian. Also, the underlying question is; what type of wisdom is man following after and actually in love with? Let’s face it; everyone is a philosopher or philosophical whether they know it or not! Satan’s wisdom is essentially what binds people in shackles, killing them softly with his song (sorry, I had to lend those words from a famous song by Roberta Flack – Killing me softly with this Song, 1973), and making them think that their ways are right but as the Proverbs proclaim: There is a way [human wisdom under the control of Satan, 2 Corinthians 4:4)] that seems right unto man, but in the end it leads to death (Proverbs 12:15; 14:12; 16:25; cf. Romans 6:21)

However, true wisdom; true Philo-Sophia is found in God alone because after all, the love of God and His precepts causes and impregnates genuine and divine wisdom. I love the way the book of Proverbs personifies godly wisdom as a woman and therefore, in this article, I too have personified Satan’s wisdom as a seductive, compelling, provocative, and bewitching woman! Compare Proverbs 1:20-23, godly wisdom, to that of James 3:13-16 which is human, demonic and satanic wisdom.

Proverbs 1:20-23Out in the open wisdom calls aloud, she raises her voice in the public square; on top of the wall she cries out, at the city gate she makes her speech: How long will you who are simple love your simple ways? How long will mockers delight in mockery and fools hate knowledge? Repent at my rebuke! Then I will pour out my thoughts to you, I will make known to you my teachings.”

 James 3:15Who is wise and understanding among you? By his good conduct let him show his works in the meekness of wisdom. But if you have bitter jealousy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast and be false to the truth. This is not the wisdom that comes down from above but is earthly, unspiritual, demonic. For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there will be disorder and every vile practice.”

 

 

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Sophia and I

I first met Sophia many, many years ago. In fact it is so many years ago that I can hardly believe that I have known her so long but, in the same breath, come to think of it, it seems just like yesterday. It’s funny how time passes so quickly.

I cannot remember the exact day or year but I was probably around the age of five, six or maybe even seven years old. It was just at the age of understanding concepts, instructions and becoming very curious about life and really just beginning to realise and find myself as a person or being.

Sophia, to me in the beginning, had a certain aspect of attraction- a magnetic field, a curiosity that moved something inside of me. It was not as if I had fallen head over heels for her but still, there was this certain JE NE SAIS QUOI – something I could not quite put my finger on, but still, very compelling, though, to say the least.

But as I grew in age, I saw a beauty in her that I found appealing to me; a beauty that erupted my senses- a wild garden strewn with emotions that I could not personally fully grasp, but yet she still attracted me – so close, so near.

I began to believe that I needed her. The way she spoke, what she said, the way she looked – so inviting, charming and fascinating. She was so mature, so powerful – so seductively overpowering.

What was happening to me?  I began to fall in love with her; very deeply in love with her actually. What she had I drew from, like water from a well. It made me feel good and manly – she seemed to complete me.

Was I rushing things? Was this infatuation? Sophia overwhelmed me. I needed her – I wanted her, yes, I loved her and she loved me.

You can call me Philo – Lover. Yes, I loved her. I do confess; starstruck, to say the least. She became my wellspring and she quenched my thirst. All my thoughts were embedded and buried in the openness of her Elysium, floating in a wonderland of nirvana. Sophia became me!

Sophia had bewitched me. Everywhere she would go I would go too. She taught me how to smoke when I was twelve years old.  I even started going with her to parties. Somehow I knew it was wrong but I did it anyway just to please her. How could I refuse someone so beautiful; and her voice, Ah man, so sweet, so penetrating; so possessing? I could not say no to her. Next thing I knew, I learnt to drink alcohol. Oh yes, I even learnt that from her. She told me that if I wanted to fit in with her then I would have to get with the times. She told me that it was the cool thing to do.

What was wrong with me?  Something or someone inside of me, in my heart, said I should stop but I could not. The truth is; I would not. How could I listen to anyone except Sophia? As life continued, Sophia and I made an excellent couple. We got on very nicely. I never argued with her. Whatever she asked me to do, I did.

There were times that I would go with her to a party and I would get so drunk that I could not even remember where I was or what I did. Most times when that happened I would wake up the next morning, most times in my own puke and find that I was alone.

Where was Sophia? Had she dumped me at the party at my most vulnerable hour? I’m sure not. I would go and look for her. I knew where she lived. She loved it when I ran after her, like a sick puppy. She wanted to be found. How did she even know my thoughts? I was dependent on her, like a baby to mother’s milk.

I started doing drugs. Sophia did not show me that. I was so hooked on her way of life that drugs were just a natural level to my crooked and partying life. Alcohol and drugs helped me damper or cover up the hurt that I was feeling inside. I thought that by doing all this, it would help me to become accepted; at least in my world.

I had become no one but the truth is; I still loved Sophia. She showed me the way of life from a very young age and everything I knew was because of her.

I heard someone say one day that Sophia was a seducer, a witch, an evil woman. I heard that she was not really interested in me and that she did not really love me. All she wanted was her own self-gain and ultimately my destruction.

I listened intently for a moment while this person spoke to me. It was weird. This voice was coming from inside of me. Was it in my head or was it in my heart? I did not know so I shunned this voice, this person.

I indulged in more partying flowing with alcohol and drugs and sex. It made me feel good, at least for a moment, while I was high or drunk.

My Life had become a bitter twisted tale. Sophia! What have you done to me? I loved you and this is what I get in return,  My Love. You lured me; hooked me. I thought you loved me – you said you loved me, but I was wrong. You Liar! Everything I ever did was just to be like you but you tricked me, you deceived me. You helped me build such a large-hedge-of-despair, towering over me and all around me like an impenetrable maze. You imprisoned me and now I cannot get out. How I wished that I had never met you. I was caught in a web and I did not know how to break free. I just wished that someone could truly love me – free me.

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My heart was broken inside of me but I let no one know. I always played along. I just wanted people to think that I was cool; that I was the man. But behind it all, I could find no value in myself so the only way was the only way I knew – rebel some more, party some more and drink and do drug’s some more. The sad part was that it did not satisfy me at all anymore but yet I persisted.

Again this person spoke to me. I wanted to listen but I did not think that what He had to say was really meant for me. How could it? Did He actually know what I have become? Did He actually know what I had done? How could He show interest in me? But yet He persisted, this still small voice.

I found myself at a Gospel concert one night, alone again as usual, drunk again as usual. I had just been thrown out of a public tavern because of stirring trouble.

As I was walking home I could hear this music not very far from the Tavern. I wondered what was going on. Was there a Party that I did not know about? The music sounded strange, not the kind of music that I was used to, but yet it sounded good; it sounded peaceful; it sounded appealing and inviting.

When I got there the people seemed to be so very different. They seemed happy and joyful and satisfied. What was it about this party and these people? What did they have that I did not have? Somehow I became very desperate and felt that I wanted what they had.

Then that same night I found out that this voice, this person inside of me, always talking to me was in fact very real. He could save me from what I had become and what Sophia had turned me into. I learnt that He could renew me, and wash me clean, and forgive me for everything that I had ever done. He was the only person that could change me. I accepted Him as my Lord and Saviour. He caused me to become instantly sober so that I could understand what He had to say to me.

He told me that He loved me even before I was born. He told me that he had always been there and had always been calling out to me – speaking to me. He told me that He had never grown impatient with me even all those times that all I wanted was Sophia.

I now was free; this huge weight had been lifted off of me, a weight that had been crushing me for all my years. I learnt that whatever I had said or done was now all behind me. I was forgiven because He shed His blood by dying for me. He then told me His name. JESUS! Oh, how sweet that sounded; how all powerful that sounded. It sounded eternal and ever-lasting, never ageing. He told me that I needed to follow only Him and that He would show me the way. I found a New Love, a New Hope.

I learnt that He would never leave me or forsake me like Sophia so often had done. I knew that what He said was the truth and that I could trust Him. I believed Him. I thought that I had found Jesus but the truth is – Jesus found me, He had always wanted me; He created me.

Now I could live my life for Jesus, away from so-called friends who actually never really cared. If only they knew that I asked Jesus to show me and give me a way out of that hell hole.

As I grew in my love for Jesus, He told me through His word that it had actually been His Holy Spirit that had always been calling out to me; all those years; that still small voice.

But, even today, over forty years later, Sophia still shows her face. How audacious of her; how arrogant she is. She never gives up, does she? I have to confess that she sometimes looks even more beautiful than she did before.

Those eyes – her look – that magnetism – her seduction. Yes! She is still very captivating, even today, but Jesus helps me see through those eyes, those careless whispers, that voice that can be so inviting at times. Only by the power of Jesus and His presence that changes me, helps me to keep my eyes off Sophia and to be able to see her for who she is. I can never forsake my perfect First Love.

Sophia, I thought you were my true love but I tell you the truth; even though I thought and believed that for many years, I was dead wrong. You are wicked; everything about you is wicked. You are a witch. You do not love me and you never have. All you have ever done was to mislead me and lie to me. Nothing you have do I ever want. You hold the world in the curse of your lies. You lure them in with your body and deceive them with your twisted words. You then hook them; draw them in and then chain them to misery. You have misled and slaughtered thousands and thousands. You have been doing this for a very long time, haven’t you? You are so good at this, but the truth has been revealed and you have been exposed; all your plans and motives.

The truth has set me free. The truth has overcome you and conquered you. JESUS is The Truth and Sophia, you are SATAN

 

Written By Shane Bryant (OMIN CLC, DipD, ADIV)