“Wow!” exclaimed Sarah as she sipped the Cabernet Sauvignon for the very first time. Swirling it around in her mouth, she could taste and smell a barrage of fragrances that permeated her taste buds. “It tastes like more… much, much more.” “I wonder where this comes from, and I’m not talking about the shop, just in case someone thinks I’m having a blonde moment”, she giggled.
“I’ll tell you”, said James, helping himself to a second glass, since the first glass did not even touch sides. “Being a viticulturist of sorts, I’ll be happy to bore you with some interesting details”, he said, with a please-let-me-tell-you expression on his face.
“Sure, tell me, this will be interesting”, Sarah responded, not because she really wanted to know, but was only passing common courtesy to James.
“Excellent”, continued James, overjoyed to unleash his academic knowledge to those who would lend him an ear. “It’s a relatively new wine. As a matter of fact, it was discovered by chance, or rather it was a chance crossing between Cabernet Franc and Sauvignon Blanc. It is said that ‘Sauvignon’ is derived from the French word ‘Sauvage’, meaning ‘wild’”.
“Shucks, it does have a bit of a wild taste does it not? And, after a few more glasses of this wild wine, I myself might turn into a wild thing”, Sarah said, batting her eyelids at James, her newlywed husband.
“I’m sure this doesn’t interest Timothy at all, because I’ve never seen him drink any alcohol”, James said while patting Timothy on his shoulder.
“I am not sure whether you are complementing me or patronizing me”, retorted Timothy, who was sipping on his cafe latte, not only because he enjoyed large amounts of it, but also because he was a teetotaller. “Actually, your information is interesting James, but may I also bore the two of you with some facts – interesting, or maybe not-so-interesting – also regarding wine; that is if the two of you want to hear?”
“Definitely; I did not know you were a connoisseur Timothy?” Sarah said as she equipped herself with a second helping of Cabernet Sauvignon, and also hoping that the big word she used would impress her hearers, especially James.
“A connoisseur…? No, not at all! But what I do know is that another mutant wine, just like this Cabernet Sauvignon you’re sipping away at, has hit the Christian world by storm and it is not being sipped on but rather been glugged away by the bottle full.”
“Is that so”, said James with itching ears and peaking interest. “If it’s a Christian wine, then it has to be a communion wine or something like that?”
“Yes, something of the sort” Timothy replied, “Because it has communities of Christians drinking from it. It’s not an actual wine that you drink from a bottle, but rather a ‘spiritual wine’ which is apparently given by God for His Church so that they can get hopelessly drunk in His love. I have seen it with my own eyes and I’ll tell you something; it’s a pathetic sight to behold. People, in their apparent drunken state, roll around with laughter, bark like dogs, slither around like snakes, roar like lions, break wind in the spirit – apparently this is a way of getting rid of Demons – and act like a bunch of morons; bringing shame on the rest of the Church. I have even heard from reliable sources; friends who have even witnessed first-hand, that some woman even go to church with no underwear on so that the pastor can ‘Touch them in the right place’ in order to deliver them from their Demons, hoping that these Demons will pass through their ‘Private areas’ and out of them. This wine, more than this Cabernet Sauvignon you are drinking, is so addictive that it has gripped many Churches with wholesale force.”
“Oh my word”, Sarah said with shock written all over her face. “I have always been told that ‘God’s House is a House of prayer and order’. Surely this cannot be happening.”
“Yes it is, and it is almost as old as the history of your Cabernet Sauvignon, or even as new, depending on how you look at it”, Timothy replied with distress in his tone . “My heart breaks for the church because it seems to have lost all of its faculties and is now whoring around in a brothel and even prostituting itself on the streets. It’s as if many churches have joined Aaron and the Israelites in their revelry and drunkenness, and are now worshipping a golden calf with this new wine.”
“In any event, I thought I would just tell the two of you, since you were speaking about new wine. The only thing is that; this new wine I am speaking of is deadly poison and no one seems to care. I suppose they can’t care as long as they are ‘Drunk in the Spirit’ and therefore all inhibitions and common sense is dulled, as if dulled senses is the new-in-thing and a new anthem: ‘Don’t be afraid to be confused… try to remain permanently confused’”.
“Oh well, here’s to Cabernet Sauvignon”, James said, raising his glass for a cheer, growing bored of the conversation. “Only kidding” he exclaimed, realising the stares of disgust he received from Sarah and Timothy.
“Well, whether you’re kidding or not, I cannot cheer to that. Will the two of you please excuse me? I’ve got a prison visitation to attend to.
“Oh! Who are you visiting?” said James feigning curiosity, and also trying to redeem himself from his earlier un-called for remark.
“I’m visiting a prisoner who, after he got hopelessly drunk, went wild, shot dead his wife and two children, and is now sitting on death-row waiting for execution. I have been given special permission for this visitation because prisoners on death-row are not allowed these types of visits and therefore I need to go. God Bless. Enjoy your Cabernet Sauvignon!”
Written by; Shane Bryant (OMIN CLC, CLDIP, ADIV)